Throckmorton P. Ruddygore, Esq: Throckster, Throcky or the Throckmotron to his friends, a dashed fiend when it comes to the mixing, matching and inhalation of exotic leaf matter (and a fine upstanding citizen to boot despite his enthusiasm for the much derided street sport of 'Elderly Cudgling') had this positive report to submit:
"It is with unabashed elation that I report to you my successful third foray into the Viridial Uplands of Ganymede. I feel the first two were qualified failures, at best, due largely to the lack of enduring firepower. So then, why should you be interested in this third said outcome? Indeed, it is due to the unmatched performance of my newly acquired F.M.O.M Industries Wave Disrupter Gun that I am even alive at all, and not being slowly digested in the secondary sluice tracts of the Arboreal Polyphagous Whip Grove. Alas, the same could not be said of my manservant, Clodbanke, nor of sixteen of my indigenous porters. But I digress.
In the Groves found of the Uplands one may find a particular smoking leaf that is at once more Robust than Estonian Pipe-leht yet more Subtle than the Portuguese Folha Tiparillo. Acquisition of this most puissant of tobaccos requires a continuous and effective stream of destructive energies applied liberally to the base of the Grove, whilst press-ganged field hands carefully pluck the leaf from the carnivorous and poison laden vines that supply the Grove with quickening nutrients.
The F.M.O.M Industries Wave Disrupter Gun supplied these energies with near joyous abandon, whilst I suffered only a mild case of the bloody flux from the ambient radiation! Truly, a masterwork of Tremontium forging that upholds me now as the Fore-most member of the Liverpudlian Gentleman's Smoking-League. With utmost Tolerance for you,
Throckmorton P. Ruddygore, Esq."