Stella Lexiphon

Stella Lexiphon, lady of high society and well-rounded personality has written us this ample testimonial. Its narrative is fully-fleshed and packed in tightly while its emotional core had us bursting out into tears. All in all, its jostling and bouncy word play makes it one of the best we've ever oggled at:

"My husband, the intergalactic bum, went off to fight the Moon Men and protect the helpless, scantily-clad minxes of the universe. He completely forgot that he had his own perfectly good scantily-clad minx right here. It wasn't long before new admirers started showing up on my doorstep. They seemed to exhibit very little confidence that Milton would return from his escapades, dear oaf that he was. Is. So what's an abandoned wife to do? Well, I saw your ad and less than a lunar week later, I had my very own Victorious Mongoose. It turns out said Victorious Mongoose is not as concealable as you think (though Sally next door says it's my bustier's fault for being too tight). That is, however, the only fault I can find with your marvelous machine. I only meant to scare unwanted suitors with it, but when it accidentally went off that first time, well... Let's just say the satisfaction of seeing someone you despise melt into his constituent elements is worth the rumors that started to spread. How was I to know that last one was the Prime Skitterbah of Neptune? He should've learned to keep his buggy eyes to himself. Thanks to your Victorious Mongoose, this scantily-clad minx won't ever fear rustling bushes again."