Sgt. Phillpot McCraken

Sgt. Phillpot McCraken (Waitangi Rangers Scout Company), runner-up in this years All-Male Bare-Backed Cleft-Wedging Championships (whereby contestants attempt to stuff handfulls of fruit mince into each others rear cleavage while wrestling in a vat of full fat cream and treacle - a true mans sport), forwarded us this heady tale of dealing death to those experiencing life after death*:

*Excerpts taken from Sgt.McCraken's diary.

"After intercepting an emergency beacon from the nearby colony on Timarisu Minor XIX. Our scout skiff 'Ngahuia' proceeded at full ether. Three days later we landed at the colony town of 'Pike's Peake'.To our horror we were greeted by a shambling town of undead colonists! Fortunately for us we had been equipped with the Manmelter 3600 ZX11! Undead man, woman, child or donkey didn't stand a chance!

Within eight hours of our arrival the town was cleansed of the Ungodly scum! The smell of chicken filled the air. Thank the Maker for Dr.Grordbort's inventions! Now I have to check this rash I got while I was on the planet and I'm feeling really hungry..."