Lord Vizier Ct'honal

Lord Vizier Ct'honal, a grotesque insult to nature and apparently the High General of the Vanguriz Interstellar Invasion Forces, has attempted to apply its feeble alien intellect to written communication, we present the results:

"Earthling known as Dr. Grordbort,

Realize that your simple human brain is but 1/5 the size of ours, and encased in a thin bone structure just millimetres thick. And yet, I must congratulate you on your recent, blatant, attempt to copy the weapons of destruction that we have long kept as standard issue for exploratory excursions to your mud ball called Earth.

It must have been that idiot Tzz'rrl who left his Vangurizan FleshMelter on what he thought was an inanimate furred log while he relieved himself of pent up gases. When he turned around, the furred log, which was in actuality a sheep, had fled in terror when Tzz'rrl began his gaseous exhalations. Typically, we Vangurizan's need only use two pseudopods to relieve our gases, but that idiot Tzz'rrl horribly damaged one beyond repair while tinkering with one of our ships warp coils. But I digress. It seems the Chit-Chanos aren't the only sentient beings that have knowledge of reverse engineering. The component located on the top of the "Goliathon 83" is obviously a Vangurizan Particle Phrasologislator. The blue and red diodes located on the rear of the weapon can only be an earthlings attempt at creating a time-matter flow restorer.

Your attempts at weapon creation should be applauded; however, pseudopods make a wholly different sound when clapped together. Know that the idiot Tzz'rrl is no longer allowed to set tentacle off of the ship. Know that we have obtained a copy of the "Goliathon 83". Know also that our galactic patent officers are very well educated in Earthling law, and that they will make sure you product is sold in limited quantities so that our invasion...er peaceful journeying continues unabated."