Frederik Smythe, A Colonel and part-time goat husbandrist in His Majesty's Interstellar Army currently posted on Mars, insisted we publish this riveting prattle:

"I wish to congratulate you on your most magnificent of products, the Manmelter 3600ZX. On a recent mission I was captured by those filthy blue apes of Saturn. The Manmelter's compact size allowed me to easily conceal it on my person, meaning I was able to use it to escape from my cell later that evening. I then put it to good use as I rescued the Martian princess I had been tasked to save and escaped from that dingy hole. Those apes didn't know what hit 'em!"