Captain Clive Karlinio is an intergalactic mercenary who scours our galaxy commiting random acts of space-violence with his jaw. He is said to have crushed a man's femur with his trademark flying round-house chin strike. Ouch.

Read his insights here:

"I'd like to pass me thanks on to this Dr. Grordbort fellah for making me new hand gun, the Moon-fist 65. Quite comfy to hold, straight as an arrow and it'll burn a yard wide hole though a Khunthi-pod in no time flat. Infra-wave undulations and all that, top-notch.

Clive is well pleased. So give yourself a pat on the back.

And just asking right? Do you sell some kind of mens potency pills? Cos for the last week, since I got me new gun in fact, I gone an lost feeling in me down-stairs if ya nar-mean? Any ideas?..."