Captain. Anton Eustace Frobisher. Space Explorer, runner up in the 1905 Proffesional Grimacing Championships and currently marooned on Jupiter's moon Io, managed to get this distress call to Grordbort's HQ - sending help soon Froby old boy! Ha ha! Unlikely.:

“Our last functioning F.M.O.M. Wave Disruptor Pistol hiccoughed today, vapourising my ring finger in the process – so I now resemble one of those Japanese Criminal chappies!

I would be so awfully appreciative if you popped a dozen new FMOM's into your next supply rocket, as opposed to the ten boxes of “Keep Your Pecker Up Birdseed” we recently received.
(No doubt sent in the same jocular spirit with which they were received...)

Better still, how about getting around to sending a proper rescue rocket?

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