Benjamin Snooker, a daring man of adventure whose travels have taken him from the deepest jungles of South America to the frozen war plains of Pluto is pictured here to the left. He is more widely known by his nick-name 'Tea pot' but he steadfastly refuses to comment on it. Perhaps it stems from his self-made all-weather survival suit which features a small faucet on his netherlies (for emergencies) and gives him an interesting side-on silhouette?

Read his hogwash here:

"I Benjamin (Teapot) Snooker, Traveller and seeker of lost artifacts, (Don't ask about my nickname) remember the day the Goliathon 83 stood beside me as I found my way through the Forbidden jungle of Tankera Mo Mo. The air was hot and damp. It felt like breathing steam as i cut my way further Through the jungle. With great luck I spied a clearing ahead and pushed on faster. As I edged closer to the clearing I felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise up. Something was moving through the jungle towards me.

Whump! Whump! Whump! I herd it draw closer and i pulled my Goliathon 83 from it's holster feeling the weight of it in my hand. Then I realized that it was not moving through the jungle but above it! The Giant Terror bat screamed showing it's maw of jagged teeth and a bolt of fear travelled down my spine. It swooped down through the canopy, claws held wide to snatch me up. I pulled the trigger sending a powerful ray cutting through the terror bat. It tumbled to the jungle floor like torn box kite landing squarely at my feet. Without my Ray gun I would have been bat guano.

Without a doubt the Goliathon 83 is a robust sidearm for the adventurer who may encounter the worst the dark jungles have to offer."